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FOREWORD
Teens have always had to deal with a multitude of physical,
emotional, and intellectual changes. Along with all of the pressures
and situations that life throws at them. But, in today's world,
much more has been added to an adolescent's plate, due in large part
to changes in technology, the media, family life, and the world, as
a whole. All of which make your life as a teen much more
difficult to navigate successfully. And where can you turn to get
advice?
TEENS! Improve Your Life – Don't
Overlook the Obvious
is a part of that answer. *
It
is a guide,
if you will, with brief strategies, truisms, and ideas, which when
turned into action, should help you get through tough situations,
plan for what you wish to achieve, and to successfully make it from
a teen to an adult. *
It should be 'must reading'
for your siblings, friends, boy/ girlfriends, classmates, and
co-workers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEENS! Improve Your Life – Don't
Overlook the Obvious
takes a different approach than what you might have experienced
elsewhere. It recommends personal responsibility. It
acknowledges the role of others. It speaks succinctly. And, it can
easily be read again and again, without difficulty. A great guide
for most any teen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Hey!
What gives you the creds to write this book?'
Well, I could be a wiseguy and say
that I was once a teen. I could also say that I have 2
wonderful sons, now adults, and know some of what they went through.
I could point out that I had been employed as a health and sexuality
adviser. Or, that I was the primary staffer for a teen drop-in
center. Or, a manager at a group home for disabled and behaviorally
'acting out' teen guys. Or, a coordinator at a residential treatment
center for alcoholics. Or, that I did substance abuse counseling.
Or, that I have studied adolescent issues. Or, paid attention to
teens whom I have met over the decades. Or...
The point is that you will find a
lot of great advice here. It's important to learn, at this time
of your life, that the solution to many problems
and the way to
succeed in many areas of life is to focus on 'The Obvious'.
Cliches are such because they are
often true. There are also not always steps to take which will
not on some level be inconvenient or even uncomfortable. Not,
if you wish to get positive results.
We adults do 'get it' more than you
know. Every
generation's adolescents feel picked-upon, misunderstood,
under-valued, and otherwise disrespected. Most adults do not
purposely try to make your life miserable. Especially, most parents,
teachers, and bosses who want you to succeed in life. The
majority of us truly wish you well.
Unfortunately, you need to face the
fact (that you might already, painfully, know) that not everyone is
nice. Or, will treat you well. So, that you need to learn how to
deal with them and the situations that you are put into.
Of course, along the way to
adulthood, you need to learn two of life's most difficult lessons.
One is accepting
responsibility for your own actions. You always have a choice. (Or,
two or three, or... ) The options might not always be to your liking
and could involve choosing the 'lesser of two evils'. But,
you do have a choice.
Then there is the most important
lesson, perhaps, of all.
Learning that you are not invincible. Virtually every teen (myself,
back then, included) believes that 'the rules of life' do not apply
to them. We think that car crashes happen to the 'other guy or gal'.
We don't see the harm in texting while driving. Or, in driving
stoned or intoxicated. Or, in having unprotected sex. Or, sexting.
Or... But, you need to face the fact that all of these (and more)
have the very real potential for devastating or even ending your
life. - And, trust me when I say that this is not a
melodramatic or 'preachy' statement. Just a presenting of facts.
Period.
Oops! I have to admit a mistake.
The most important lesson, probably, is that you deserve good
stuff in your life. Both
now and down the road. And, if you don't believe that, or treat
yourself better and make wiser, if not more difficult decisions,
than your future will likely not be a great one.
You truly have much to live for!
Finally, let me say that not all or
perhaps even most of the advice in this book will apply to you
right now. And, that's okay! Because we all have different needs
and situations to grapple with at any one point in time. But, I
believe that down the road... Perhaps tomorrow, next month, or even
a year or two from now, you will pick up this book and find some
advice that could help you to have a better life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A
FEW LAST WORDS BEFORE YOU 'JUMP IN'
No one size fits all, in shoes, or in
life.
So, while what is suggested will work well for many people, there is
always the possibility that it might not work well for you.
Therefore, do not blindly follow what is offered here. This book
is
not
intended as a substitute for those of you who are in or need
counseling or therapy. Use common sense. Think about how these
steps and ideas might fit into your specific circumstances. Then,
make your own decision and take responsibility for it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wishing you the best that life has to offer, Russell A. Irving
All families
Are dysfunctional
To some extent.
~~~~~~~~~~
Don't over-promise.
People will likely remember
The broken promises
More than the kept ones.
~~~~~~~~~~
Showing off,
Whether grades, talent,
or... ,
Will likely turn off
Those whom
You seek to attract.
~~~~~~~~~~
You don't
have
To love
your step-parent.
But, you
should try your best
To
respect them.
~~~~~~~~~~
'Short and sweet'
Goes a long way.
~~~~~~~~~~
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Do not confuse
Not agreeing
With not listening.
~~~~~~~~~~
Parents
Do not and should not
Treat everyone the same.
Because each child
Has different needs.
But, this does not mean
That you are loved
Any more or less.
~~~~~~~~~~
It's not your obligation
To 'Fix''
Someone who is 'broken'.
~~~~~~~~~~
Make yourself
So valuable
To your employer
That laying you off
Would be a 'non-choice'.
~~~~~~~~~~
|
Don't confuse:
Passion with lust.
Hurt with malice.
Pleasing with acquiescing.
Trust with blind faith.
Quiet with shy.
Outgoing with a positive
self-image.
Justified anger with a
temper.
'No' with wimpiness.
Crush with love.
Limits with tyranny.
Bullying with 'good fun'.
Selfishness with
self-loving.
Disabled with incapable.
All sex with lovemaking.
Adulthood with 'pure'
freedom.
Blind faith with a sincere
belief.
~~~~~~~~~~
Forgiveness
Should go to those
Who truly repent
For their wrongdoing.
~~~~~~~~~~
|
Successful multi-tasking
Has been proven
To be a myth.
Learn from that fact.
~~~~~~~~~~
Treat step-siblings well.
They also had their lives
up-ended.
~~~~~~~~~~
Some guys
Are truly shy and bashful
Around the girls whom they
like.
And, some gals
Will go for the guy they
like.
The lesson:
Don't make assumptions.
~~~~~~~~~~
You need to learn
Your parents', siblings',
Or others' moods.
Once you do,
So many things will go
Much better for you!
~~~~~~~~~~
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